One Role to Play

I think that of all the roles I play in my own life… other’s… if I had to narrow it down to one conscience to live in forever, I’d be the healer.

So much of healing others takes away from loving myself, and oddly enough, I think that I’m OK with that. I know that I’m OK with that; I love myself for being OK with that, but I also irk myself with how much I am willing to give in reciprocation for… not much. I never care until my well runs dry, but once it does the only reason I want it to refill is to be able to pour into others once again.

I think this ideology is plausible, considering everyone suddenly becomes just as giving. Somewhere, in a perfect world.

Even now, with everything in shambles, including myself, I know that what this world needs is love and I am beyond just willing to give it. Collectively, we need to heal. We need rest, time to re-spark passion and motivation, some TLC, if you will. I know how to give that to others… in the broken world and beyond.

The only problem with this being the realistic, more practical world in comparison to the ideal, is that I have trouble finding time to heal myself at the end of the night. But, as aforementioned, I hardly care about that. Maybe that makes two problems in and of themselves.

I suppose living in one mind wouldn’t be all too bad, even if it hurt me. How would I know the difference? When I read this prompt I chilled with a sort of Black Mirror feel. Who thinks of erasing every conscience but one to live in one specific role for the rest of your life? A twisted, creative mind I’d suppose, but it’s genius. It gets you thinking about the best parts of yourself and, consequently, the worst. I love an exercise that makes you reveal yourself.

If you’re honest with yourself, this works. This simple exercise heals. I’m examining the good in me while I sit here in this cute little coffee shop, mulling over my cons while I sip a dirty chai (an unnecessarily large one, if I might add). The healer, the lover, the friend, the fighter, the speaker… my cons: the sensitive mirror, the… well, the fighter, the lover, the speaker. I’m one in the same, and I wonder if that makes me insane.

So, I think my choice was simple. It was the only choice that was an inconsistency between the two categories. It is what would make me unique. It would be an uncommon, essential role that I could offer society if I could only portray one.

What an exercise. I encourage everyone to give this a try. Take it that deep, so that you can provide a deeper purpose. Stop thinking so hard, and just work harder to live in your true being. You’ve got one job, and that is to live as your highest, most unique self. Heal, so that you can accomplish that.

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P H I L O

P H I L O

Chicago📍 Poet & Profound Thinker